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Effective recipes for increasing self-confidence from Felix Kirsanov

  Effective recipes for increasing self-confidence from Felix Kirsanov



   Sometimes people ask me: "What books are worth reading to gain self-confidence?" You guess what is the appropriate answer here (especially useful for those who like to study literalism, that is, to devote themselves entirely to book theory only): of course, books are good, but only a bare theory can be beautiful at times. like a wedding bride, but completely sterile without a groom - a fertilizing experience. 

You won't get very far on semi-circular crescent-shaped wheels.

Effective recipes for increasing self-confidence from Felix Kirsanov

They say that knowledge is power. But it's worth adding:only if it applies. You can read mountains of books, but the knowledge gained from them will remain a dead weight in your head if they are not applied in practice

. Self-confidence in public speaking, just like, say, the ability to gently light a cigarette from a tracer bullet flying past, while not getting burned and getting into the Guinness Book of Records, is a skill that can only increase as a result of alternating practical actions with theirs. the subsequent realization - all according to the same scheme of ours "I KNOW - I CAN".


     The fact that our friend Eugene knows how to pump himself up with energy before the performance itself is all right. This - one of the recipes for the growth of self-confidence from the area "I KNOW", let's call it a positive attitude. 

    It is very important, but one single recipe does not always solve the problem, so an integrated approach is needed here. In the same way, as, for example, to save Moscow from traffic jams, it is not enough just to remove some traffic lights and dig underground passages instead. A set of measures is needed: to build multi-level transport interchanges, to widen the carriageway where it is expedient and possible, to smooth humpbacked tram crossings, etc.

     So for the growth of self-confidence in public speaking, a set of recipes is needed :


      1 recipe for confidenceawareness of the following positive attitudes ("I KNOW"):

     - excitement in front of the audience is not a pathology, but a normal phenomenon;

     - most people are afraid to speak in public (i.e., I'm not the only one);

     - fear of the audience has no reasonable basis (social phobia);

     - getting rid of fear of the audience is not as difficult as it seems.

     All our achievements begin in the head. Therefore, only one approving awareness of these attitudes contributes to the gradual growth of our self-confidence in the future.


      2 recipe for confidence -publicspeaking practice("I CAN") is, without a doubt, the most reliable recipe (which is why there is a lot of practice in our courses in public speaking and communication skills - about 3/4 of the class time).

     It is worth practicing wherever possible - at work, on the tram, on the Arbat, etc. Practical experience accumulates - with each performance, new skills are acquired, and if tachycardia is still troubling, then you just need to persistently continue to accumulate experience - practice and practice again, and also do not forget to add the following recipe to practical performances:


      3 recipe confidence - the subsequent positive self-hypnosis after the speeches("I KNOW"), like: "Nobody forced me - I spoke myself, which speaks of my sufficient determination"; "it turned out better than last time - I already saw the audience, not like before, when all the listeners were in a daze"; "I was already more engaged in business and thought less of myself - there is progress," etc., and not as usual: "I was disgraced, I am no longer going to public speeches", and so on.

     (Positive cheering after the speech, plus a preliminary positive attitude before speaking in public, plus the performance itself - here's a full turn of the wheel of developing self-confidence skill. Keep in mind that your self-confidence will have a significantly steeper take-off trajectory if your public speaking practice is accompanied by a consciously positive attitude before- and positive post-performance analysis.)


    Confidence Recipe - Controlling Confidence Signs: Be Confident - And You Feel Confident(here and "I KNOW" and "I CAN"). When a pack of hungry wolves surrounds a moose, and if the moose shows signs of uncertainty - it shakes and twitches like a son of a bitch, and also blinks frightenedly - then the wolves, realizing that fear has swallowed half of its strength, immediately boldly attack it (because for they are no longer elk, but grub) and are torn to pieces. But if the elk shows them a whole set of signs of confidence - it stands with its head held high, looks resolutely, and confidently digs the ground with its hoof, then the wolves - even if they are moderately hungry - tend to retreat. realizing that such one will fight in full growth and, what good, one half of them will fill up, and the other will have to write crutches from doctor Aibolit.

 In this case, the rule works:your weakness is my strength, my weakness is your strength - the scales tilt.

 This rule always comes into effect where elements of struggle are clearly expressed - negotiations, trials, debates, answers to tricky questions in public speeches, etc. Our inner strength is indicated to our opponent by our signs of confidence, and our inner weakness is indicated by signs of insecurity. Signs of confidence always work for us, because they are our allies (about signs of confidence - in the article Showing confidence becomes more confident);


   5 recipe for confidence - confidence in your manner of performing ("KNOW"). One of the reasons for anxiety is doubt: "What if I say or do something wrong or wrong?" Doubt away! Confidence in your way of speaking usually comes from using the four previous recipes, as well as training in front of a mirror, working with a tape recorder, and best of all with a video camera.

Written by Felix Kirsanov


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