May 05, 2022Introduction aux relations internationales - Enseignant: MOHCINE KARZAZI

Confidence

Good day, readers of the site Allgoodtutorials. This section is devoted to the topic of trust in its various forms and types. On the site, you can find the points of view of different people from different eras on this issue and practical methods of developing and acquiring Confidence.

longlife iii 5w 30 mobil longlife 5w30

btc mixerGood day, readers of the site Self-confidence. This site is dedicated to the topic Confidence in its various forms and forms. On the site you can find the points of view of different people from different eras on this issue and practical methods of developing and gaining Confidence.

Confidence is a person's positive assessment of their own skills and abilities as sufficient to achieve their goals and satisfy their needs *. The basis for the formation of such assessments is a sufficient, positive experience in solving social problems and successfully achieving their own goals (meeting needs). For the formation of self-confidence, it is not so much objective life success, status, money that is important, but a subjective positive assessment of the results of one's own actions and assessments that follow from the side of significant people (parent, teacher, husband, friend).

* Romek V.G.

Why is Confidence taken for the wording and not "Confidence in oneself"? Because in my practice I have to work with different manifestations of Confidence.

1. Confidence in themselves

2. Confidence in communicating with another person

3. Confidence when communicating with a group of people

And it often happens that one person has enough confidence and the other is very lacking. So, at lectures and trainings, I usually first of all offer people to determine what kind of confidence they need in the first place. And only then draw up a plan of action and then ACT to achieve the intended goal.

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Different types of confidence

Confidence can differ in its manifestation in terms of the amount of energy.

Normally, this is confidence. 
If there is a lack, it is uncertainty. 
In excess, it is overconfidence. 

There are also three types of this energy that affect what a person is sure of and what he is not. The fact is that self-confidence , confidence in communicating with one person and confidence in communicating with a group of people  are different types of confidence, which are manifested and developed in different ways.
I can give a number of examples as options for manifesting different types of confidence.

First example... In Chisinau, the most successful seller of a "Canadian company" who could easily sell his goods to any person (one) from a housewife to a bank director and earned a lot of money on sales was asked by the company's management to share the "secrets" of success. And upon entering the stage, this person - a confident salesman who could easily persuade almost anyone - suddenly began to stutter, worry and confuse words. And the reason for this is that his confidence in communicating with one person was excellently developed, and there was very little confidence in communicating with the group. Usually, confidence in communicating with one person is manifested in the fact that a person is excellently able to start and end communication (negotiations, deal) with one person. Representatives of such confessions as a traffic policeman and a gypsy have a discoverer,

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Demonstrating Confidence Gains Confidence

"I affirm that a person will never be able to know himself," - said Goethe.    

   From the point of view of the monistic concept, any of our emotional experiences is reflected in bodily movements. Moreover, our internal states are not the cause or effect of the corresponding body movements, but coincide with them.  

     When we are worried, for example, during a public speech, this experience can be expressed in such voluntary body movements as: muscle clamps; unnecessary gestures that do not depend on the spoken words; a running glance, directed not at the eyes of the audience, but wandering along the walls, floor and ceiling; quiet, trembling voice, etc. And also in such involuntary 

(reflex) movements, such as: increased levels of adrenaline and other hormones in the blood, heart palpitations, changes in blood pressure, facial flushing, sweating, changes in pupil diameter, etc. (By the way, with the help of a lie detector, it is precisely these, often outwardly imperceptible, involuntary movements of the body that are detected ).

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Effective recipes for increasing self-confidence from Felix Kirsanov

      Sometimes people ask me: "What books are worth reading to gain self-confidence?" You guess what is the appropriate answer here (especially useful for those who like to study literalism, that is, to devote themselves entirely to book theory only): of course, books are good, but only a bare theory can be beautiful at times. like a wedding bride, but completely sterile without a groom - a fertilizing experience. You won't get very far on semi-circular crescent-shaped wheels.

They say that knowledge is power. But it's worth adding:only if it applies. You can read mountains of books, but the knowledge gained from them will remain a dead weight in your head if they are not applied in practice. Self-confidence in public speaking, just like, say, the ability to gently light a cigarette from a tracer bullet flying past, while not getting burned and getting into the Guinness Book of Records, is a skill that can only increase as a result of alternating practical actions with theirs. the subsequent realization - all according to the same scheme of ours "I KNOW - I CAN".

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Fanaticism as an excess of confidence, and the benefits of fanaticism

Here is another example of an interesting opinion from the Internet about fanaticism as an extreme manifestation of Overconfidence. And about what such a benefit can be from fanaticism. After all, the speed of achieving the goal of the fanatic is maximum, because doubts are not peculiar to him and ONLY his goal and methods are righteous or true)))

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So how do you recognize a fan? Very simple. The fan is a vivid representative of the rough black and white thinking. Moreover, in the case of fanaticism, no shades of gray are provided. Either black or white, the fan does not recognize any combination options. For example, a Hare Krishna fan sincerely thinks that the worst Hare Krishna is still much better than the best Christian, and a Christian fan, he is sure that the worst Christian is still much better than the best Hare Krishna. In a word, someone who is not with us cannot fall into our white category, no matter what he does for this, he will always be in the black category.

And this suggests that we do not allow representatives of other ways of thinking into our consciousness. And this happens only for one reason - we do not know what to say to them if they ask us why we see this world in this way. We simply do not know the answers to the questions of why and why we do what we do. We are extremely unsure of our choice, which means that we exclude any possibility of conversations on this topic. And among the fans there are no questions, by the way, this is also one of the symptoms of fanaticism. What questions can a person who is afraid of questions have? Therefore, you may have noticed how we insist that questions be asked before and after the lecture.

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Fanaticism and Confidence. Or extreme overconfidence in the form of bigotry

The most striking manifestation of the extreme stage of confidence is not even Overconfidence, but Fanaticism. As a vivid example describing the manifestation of FAITH, Voltaire's opinion about gentlemen fanatics, which has reached the extreme, is very interesting. And although Walter lived in the 17th century, the text is interesting and now, although it is emotionally filled with Voltaire's personal relationship to fanatics.  
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Fanaticism is for superstition - what frenzy is for fever, what frenzy is for malice. Anyone who has ecstasy, visions, who takes dreams for reality and fantasies for predictions is an enthusiast; the one who supports his madness by murders is a fanatic. Jean Diaz, who had retired to Nuremberg, was completely convinced that the pope was the antichrist of the Apocalypse, and that he had the mark of the beast on him: he was an enthusiast. His brother Bartolomeo Diaz, who set out from Rome to sacredly kill his brother, and, indeed, who killed him for the love of God, was one of the most disgusting fanatics ever created by superstition.

Polyeuct goes to the temple on the day of the solemn celebration, knocks over and breaks statues and ornaments: he is a fanatic, but not as terrible as Diaz, but no less stupid. The assassins of Duke François de Guise, William, Prince of Orange, King Henry III, King Henry IV and many others are demoniac, possessed by the same fury as Diaz.

The most disgusting example of fanaticism is the fanaticism of the Parisian bourgeois, who rushed to kill, cut, throw at windows, and tear to shreds their compatriots who did not go with them to mass.

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Announcement of the book "Confidence or How to Find and Raise a Leader"

Confidence has long been synonymous with success for our contemporaries. The demand for books, trainings, lectures and seminars on this topic is constantly growing. And it is no coincidence! A self-confident person highly appreciates his capabilities, actively builds and develops his own business, easily achieves financial stability, knows how to declare his desires and goals, can openly refuse the interlocutor without ruining relations with him.

This is the leader they follow, they believe in him, they want to cooperate with him!

At the same time, self-doubt is a sign of weakness of character. Such a person is afraid to start his own business ("It won't work anyway!"), He does not know how to express his own opinion, does not believe that it is possible to fulfill his dreams and goals. Insecure people rarely succeed in life.

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Fear or Confidence - Development or Degradation?

And yet, what is scary to gain knowledge about oneself?

The fear of knowing about oneself is parallel to the fear of the outside world. Like many fears, this type of fear is protective because it protects our love and respect for ourselves.

Now, now you can hide behind such a slogan - I don't want to know anything about myself in order not to lose respect and love for myself.

If we do not know ourselves, then how can we say that we respect and love ourselves?

In general, in life we ​​respect and love a person whom we do not know at all?

I agree that we can respect a stranger thanks to our upbringing. But to love a person whom we do not know at all ... I disagree, there are not so many enlightened people capable of unconditional love in the world. But back to respect - we respect a stranger because we were raised that way, and not for something, because we don't know him.

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Confidence in affermations and positive attitudes

Positive Attitude * to Increase Confidence in Dealing with One Person :

I can say no while staying calm.
Today I will easily take responsibility for inviting a new business partner;
Today I will confidently and competently conduct the planned business meeting;
I can easily and confidently start communicating with a stranger;
I will be able to entrust this business to my business partner, believing that he will succeed.

Positive Attitude * to Increase Confidence in Communicating with a Group of People :

I can easily speak to a large audience today;
I will be able to convey to the audience what I have planned;
I will easily and confidently offer people what I have decided;
I will be able to quickly and efficiently convey what I decided to the audience, speaking in its language.

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Secrets of communicating with a confident person

And now, dear readers, we would like to talk about the peculiarities of communication with leaders - with a confident person (not to confuse a leader with a leader), a monster of one of the two sexes. Why is this so important?
The fact is that every dynamically developing leader is financially interested in having as many employees with leadership qualities in his business as possible. One of the ways to solve this problem is to develop leadership qualities in your employees. The second way is to invite already formed leaders from business or government structures to the business. And for this you need to be able to speak with them in their language and take into account some of their features, characteristic only of self-confident people.

The first thing that you, dear reader, should remember that the presence of confidence or the ability to take responsibility in no way guarantees decency, ethics, intelligence, commitment - rather the opposite. And although many of these listed qualities are present in leaders to one degree or another, you should always check for their presence. And in their absence, behave in such a way that your case does not suffer from this.

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A psychologically strong and self-confident person. Who is he?

Can you call yourself a psychologically strong person? I think this question is difficult to answer right away for the reason that the concept of "psychologically strong personality" is not transparent enough. Each person has a number of associations in connection with this concept: confidence, calmness, self-sufficiency and independence, strong will, emotional balance, the ability to withstand stressful situations, self-control, the ability to choose the optimal solution in a difficult moment. Indeed, all these qualities are different facets of a psychologically strong personality, and this concept itself is composite, i.e. consisting of a palette of these worthy qualities of character. Of course, everyone would like to have all of these qualities. Moreover, we always, willingly or unwillingly, evaluate people by these parameters,

A psychologically strong and self-confident person easily makes a favorable impression, he is respected, his approval and friendship are sought, his personal rank is high, he is the first to be promoted up the career ladder. Having good confidence and inner strength is in itself a magical means of effectively influencing those around you. People feel strength and avoid entering into conflicts with such a person, do not dare to encroach on his interests, and even often give up their interests "without a fight."

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Self-confidence test

For those who wish, I propose to pass our   Self-Confidence test

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Advantages and Disadvantages: Insecurity - Confidence - Overconfidence

Our weaknesses are also a continuation of our strengths. When we talk about character traits, we often hear about their division as merits (generosity, frugality, courage, ...) and disadvantages (extravagance, stinginess, cowardice, ...). Since we are supporters of a positive approach to a person, we will consider what such a disadvantage is from the positive side.

A controlled quality of character is usually called a virtue , when a quality that is not controlled (not limited by common sense) easily turns from a merit into a “ disadvantage ”.

Let's take, for example, two such advantages as A4 generosity and A3 frugality , generosity helps to please other people by bringing gifts and joys into their lives, and frugality helps us to prudently distribute what we have received for our hard work, well, or not very hard work. If, for example, take and fill with energy such a virtue as generosity (10 times more than usual) A2... Let's say, for example, previously, generosity cost you 5% of your family budget, but now 50% will be spent on generosity. most likely, no one close to you will like it. And notice this EXCESSIVELY INCREASED DIGNITY - generosity has passed into a new quality of wastefulness, which is often called a disadvantage. Just as generosity has turned into wastefulness, excess frugality will turn into stinginess. If we represent what is written in the form of a graph, then we get the following. 

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Introspection

An individual's analysis of his own judgments, experiences, needs and actions. In contrast to the concept of reflection, which is close in meaning (from Late Latin reilexio - turning back, reflection) - self-observation, reflection on one's experiences and thoughts - the concept of Self-analysis focuses more on the procedural aspect of one's own psyche, is distinguished by the purposefulness and arbitrariness of the process of this analysis.
        
Introspection is an integral part of any psychotherapy. Already during the first conversations, the psychotherapist gets acquainted with the patient's self-analysis, since his visit to the doctor, as a rule, is preceded by attempts to analyze his own mental state. In the first lessons, the doctor not only gets to know the patient, but also makes a primary idea of ​​the causes of his illness. According to V.N.Myasishchev (1958), it is sometimes very difficult to do this, and in such cases it is especially important that the patient plays an active role, and the doctor, in identifying the causes of the disease, relies heavily on his self-analysis.In most cases, in reasoning and assessments the patient lurks delusions and mistakes, leading him to a dead end, from which he is not able to get out on his own.

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Self-esteem of a self-confident person

Personality self-esteem is how you feel about yourself, how you see yourself and who you think you are. This quality is formed on the basis of a list of beliefs about oneself, a list of good and bad qualities. Self-esteem is not what you really are or how other people see you, but WHAT YOU THINK OF YOURSELF. People don't necessarily think of you the way you imagine.

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Child's self-esteem and confidence

 

What is the self-esteem of a confident child?

This is how a person evaluates himself, his capabilities, actions. We constantly compare ourselves with others, and on the basis of this comparison we develop an opinion about ourselves, about our capabilities and abilities, our character traits and human qualities. This is how our self-esteem gradually develops. Adequate self-esteem allows a person to correlate their strengths with tasks of various difficulties and the requirements of others. Inadequate (underestimated or overestimated) deforms the inner world, interferes with harmonious development.

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Self-esteem and self-confidence

Self-esteem plays an important role in a person's life. From how you evaluate yourself, what is outstanding in your personality, leading, what qualities are capable of bringing you success, what interferes, what requires you to pay attention and constantly monitor - all this and much more is something on which not only depends your career, but life in general.

The problem of the emergence and development of self-esteem is one of the central problems of the individual. Self-esteem is a necessary component of self-awareness, i.e. a person's awareness of himself, his physical strength, mental abilities, actions, motives and goals of his behavior, his attitude to the environment, to other people to himself.

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Distinctive features of a confident person's speech

1. Increasing the volume of speech at the end of a phrase or sentence while maintaining the speed (for an uncertain person, speech usually accelerates with increasing volume) of speech. For example: “ladies and gentlemen !!!”. (a drawing like ladies and gentlemen, and the phrases go and sell, after the event come up and sign up). This is the most effective rhetorical technique at the beginning and end of a motivational speech.
2. Beginning of speech with personal pronouns I, mine, me: “I want”, “I need”, “my portfolio”, “my son”, “my husband”, “my distributor”
3. Completion of speech with imperative verbs: give, say, show, bring and in general the presence of a large number of verbs: “fell, wrung out”, “to be afraid”, “sit down and be silent”, “stand up and answer”.

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Speech Confidence Diagnostics

They say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul, maybe. But what to do, if we are very interested in that very soul, and in front of our eyes there are dark glasses, how can we see it?
Speech is another matter, I have never heard that speech is the mirror of the soul, but for me speech reflects and expresses the soul much more accurately. Speech cannot be drawn with ink, or put on dark glasses, it reflects (like everything in our body) how we live for the last 7 years what we believe in, what values ​​and principles we are guided by. Our speech is a manifestation of everything that is inherent in us through the sound of sounds, letters, words and sentences. And the best part is that by speaking, if we know how, it is very easy to diagnose our interlocutor or speaker. By changing our speech, we ourselves CHANGE. You just need to know, but how does the speech of a confident person differ from an unsure one. And start talking like a CONFIDENT person. And lo and behold, another month will pass and in you this very confidence will begin to increase and grow.
True, there is one "BUT", in the beginning it is not necessary to train with the help of speech on relatives, on your subordinates and colleagues, this is fraught with problems and complications in the relationship *.

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Confidence and Uncertainty

The important thing when working with an increase in self-confidence is that it is necessary to increase self-confidence and not reduce uncertainty. Since where our attention is when working with our character traits, then it increases. At the same time, it does not matter whether we are struggling with it or liley.

Let's take smoking as an example, or rather the desire to live without cigarettes. If a person tries to quit smoking, then in most cases the matter does not go further than striving and self-criticism. Because all the focus is on quitting smoking. Alternatively, do not quit smoking, but postpone smoking for a day, two, three, a week, and so on. My friend Valera gradually brought the time to the next smoked cigarette to a week. And then he began to make a holiday because he smoked once a week and bought himself a good SMALL)) cigar on Saturday and enjoyed it. Gradually, Valera significantly reduced the number of cigarettes, but it is IMPORTANT not to fight smoking, but to postpone smoking in time. Having made another pause of three months between cigarettes, I somehow forgot to start smoking)) So I live for a couple of years without this wonderful doping.

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Acoustic characteristics of oral speech

Oral speech is characterized by many physical parameters.

Along with its content side, the prosodic side of speech is of great importance for the listener's perception .

 

Prosody, according to N.I. Zhinkin, is the highest level of language development.

The prosodic design of the text is subordinated to the semantic-syntactic task of the speech utterance. It includes a set of a number of indicators, such as psychophysiological, situational, need-motivational and extralinguistic. This complex ultimately determines the acoustic-articulatory characteristics of prosody as a whole. The main component of prosody is intonation. Through intonation, the meaning of speech and its subtext are revealed. It represents one of the most important aspects of oral speech.

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Acoustic characteristics of speech

The speech signal has a dual nature - on the one hand, it is an ordinary acoustic signal, which is the process of propagation of the energy of acoustic vibrations in an elastic medium. Like any acoustic signal, it can be represented in the form of sound waves, which represent the propagation of the processes of compression and discharge of particles of the medium, the shapes of the fronts of which depend on the properties of the source and propagation conditions.

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Speech and its functions

The most important achievement of a person, which allowed him to use common human experience, both past and present, was verbal communication, which developed on the basis of labor activity.
Speech is language in action.
Language is a system of signs, which includes words with their meanings and syntax - a set of rules according to which sentences are built.
The word is a kind of sign, since the latter are present in various kinds of formalized languages.

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Effect of Delegation Phrases in Speech and Thinking on Confidence

As an example, a wonderful passage about shifting responsibility to others in general (Genus) and in particular (Uncle) from the movie "An Ordinary Miracle"

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Confidence and fear of death

The fear of death, the fear of thinking about death - in fact, this is the flip side of the instinct for self-preservation. Animals have such an instinct, but there is no "fear of death" - because animals, like, by the way, both small children and some adults with childish thinking, mostly live in the present day. Instinct protects them from today's potential danger; but as soon as the danger is avoided, that which threatened is already forgotten. Until the next moment of threat. The man gradually began, let's say, to generalize and predict aspects of his existence, to analyze the fact that "yesterday I lived - today I live - it means that I will live tomorrow as well." And in fact, the fact that "tomorrow I will live" is a continuation of the usual mode of existence and, in general, gives some pleasant sensations (at least the same stability). On the other hand, generalizations and forecasts induce to think somehow at least about "HOW I will live tomorrow" - and in the end about "will I live tomorrow at all." More precisely, it is scary to even think that "tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, sometime in the future I may not be."

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Feelings of guilt and self-confidence

Who among us has not experienced a sense of guilt in our life? It is familiar to everyone because guilt is a basic human emotion. Some of our actions evoke slight reproaches of our conscience, and some make us feel guilty all our lives. How much we are able to penetrate this feeling depends on many reasons: from character traits to the severity of the negative actions and events themselves.

In religion and philosophy, the sense of guilt is considered a prerequisite of conscience, it is the basis of personal and social responsibility, therefore it is assessed as an important positive human quality.

Psychotherapists, on the other hand, deal with the negative side of the feeling of guilt, when this emotion becomes the cause, provoking and aggravating factor of various neuroses, neurotic states, mental and bodily illnesses.

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Thoughts for future articles on confidence

Walk faster than usual (10 - 20%). It is important that in this case: the movement began from the body and the push from the ground was carried out by the arch of the foot (so where the fingers grow into the foot, or where the foot is flattened) - why

Walking in the center of free space - why

An example from trainings to walk faster through the center

Decrypt the plate one page per phrase

Questions that help to find out if the interlocutor has self-confidence

Often, when communicating with people who came to us for an interview, we ask a number of questions necessary to find out how much of this self-confidence they have.

For example:

"Tell us what did you do best in your previous job?"

"What do you think are your top three strengths?"

"What achievements in your life do you consider to be the main ones?"

It is also important how the interlocutor answers, where he looks and whether he asks counter questions.

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Ways to Build Confidence

Self-confidence is an advantage that cannot be overestimated. This quality helps us both in professional growth and in personal life. For those who don't feel confident enough, here are some tips.

For many hundreds of years, the best minds have been wondering why the core inside one person turns out to be stiffer than inside another. An unequivocal answer has not yet been received, but several techniques can be distinguished that will help to strengthen self-confidence.

1. Make clothes be the source of your Self-Confidence energy.

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Adler on Confidence and Neuroses

        Most of all, psychologist Adler wanted to create a practical psychology and psychotherapy that would be consistent with everyday life. In particular, he was interested in developing such a system that would provide an explanation of the causes of neuroses, and also serve as the basis for psychotherapeutic treatment of such disorders. In this part of the chapter, we will discuss the possibilities of using Adler's concepts to understand the nature of neuroses, as well as to mitigate the clinical manifestations of neurosis and depression using the psychotherapy proposed by Adler.

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An example of homework to build self-confidence

In order to learn how to pronounce phrases that carry self-confidence. You must first learn how to formulate them.

Here are some examples of how self-confident people build phrases.

Examples of confidence-enhancing phrases:

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Confidence Aphorisms

Self-confidence is the foundation of our confidence in others.
F. La Rochefoucauld


All dignity, all strength are calm - precisely because they are confident in themselves.
V. Belinsky


They can do everything, because they are sure that they can do everything.
Virgil

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What is self-confidence

The methods of successfully teaching a character trait or skill are fundamentally similar. In our case, this quality is Self - Confidence . In order to learn something, we need to know:

1. What is it - the definition of quality or skill.
2. In what will this quality or ability be manifested in me when I acquire it: in the internal state, and in the external appearance.
3. How much "this", or what of this I need to acquire or earn in the first place.
4. What can I rely on in myself (personal abilities, in our context: abilities and skills).
5. What am I ready to do and do for this.
6. Where will I start, how long each day and what I will do for this.
7. When I start: day, month, year, hour.

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Confidence with another person

Confidence in communicating or cooperating with one person in the physical body is localized at the level of the lower press, while confidence in communicating or cooperating with a group of people on the upper, and as we know, we end up with an exercise on that part of the press of quality and skills that we need.

Video clip about training the lower (relationship with one person) and upper press (relationship with a group of people)

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Confidence and the search for the culprit

When we speak with the form of speech and characteristic words and intonations "honestly" we tell the interlocutor or interlocutors about what character traits and abilities we have developed in one way or another, the question is in the attention of the listener.

To diagnose speech, it is important to know not only how self-confidence manifests itself in speech, but also uncertainty and self-confidence.

Uncertainty is characteristic words: I will try, I will try, I will try, I don’t know, I cannot, it will not work, and others will not work.
Also, people who are unsure of themselves or in some particular area can often hear - "It happened", "It happened", "I have such a fate", "There are alcoholics in my life" and similar phrases.

Overconfidence - excessive number of imperative verbs, personal pronouns, irregular vocabulary, frequent increase in volume at the endings of words.

Confidence is somewhere in the middle)))

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Causes of self-doubt

There are several complementary explanations for the causes of self-doubt. The simplest explanation comes from Albert Bandura's "model learning" theory. In accordance with this theory, a new repertoire of aggressive, confident or insecure behavior skills arises as a result of imitation - copying by the child of those behavioral stereotypes that he has the opportunity to observe around him. Parents, relatives, friends serve as "models" for copying. As a result, a confident, aggressive or insecure personality appears as a kind of "cast" of patterns of behavior that dominate in the environment surrounding the child.

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