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 Advantages and Disadvantages: Insecurity - Confidence - Overconfidence

Advantages and Disadvantages: Insecurity - Confidence - Overconfidence

Our weaknesses are also a continuation of our strengths. When we talk about character traits, we often hear about their division as merits (generosity, frugality, courage, ...) and disadvantages (extravagance, stinginess, cowardice, ...). Since we are supporters of a positive approach to a person, we will consider what such a disadvantage is from the positive side.

controlled quality of character is usually called a virtue , when a quality that is not controlled (not limited by common sense) easily turns from a merit into a “ disadvantage ”.

Let's take, for example, two such advantages as A4 generosity and A3 frugality , generosity helps to please other people by bringing gifts and joys into their lives, and frugality helps us to prudently distribute what we have received for our hard work, well, or not very hard work. If, for example, take and fill with energy such a virtue as generosity (10 times more than usual) A2... Let's say, for example, previously, generosity cost you 5% of your family budget, but now 50% will be spent on generosity. most likely, no one close to you will like it. And notice this EXCESSIVELY INCREASED DIGNITY - generosity has passed into a new quality of wastefulness, which is often called a disadvantage. Just as generosity has turned into wastefulness, excess frugality will turn into stinginess. If we represent what is written in the form of a graph, then we get the following. 

We have already seen the transformation of such dignity as generosity into extravagance. But what about our quality assurance? Let's look in the figure what happens to Confidence when it is more than needed or less.

When a person lacks confidence (self-confidence in one or another type of activity), then the person is called insecure, when there is a lot of confidence, then self-confident. If you look at the picture, then A will be Confidence , A1 will be Overconfidence , A2 will be Uncertainty . And two intermediate stages.  

Let's see how insufficient or excessive confidence manifests itself in everyday life. Take tangerines as an example. In the room where three children are playing, there is a vase with 4 tangerines on the table. An adult enters the room and after looking at the tangerines he really wanted to eat them (well, very much). What will an insecure person who lives for others at the expense of himself do? Naturally, he will either keep silent (thinking about children) or forcefully feed the children out of good intentions - doing them good. How to act self-confident - living for himself at the expense of others? He will most likely sit down and eat tangerines until he is full. We took two extremes, but gradations are possible between them. For example, one step from uncertainty to confidence will change the situation in such a way that a person asks children about who else wants tangerines besides him, though not directly, but speaking out loud his desire, and a step from self-confidence to confidence will change behavior so that a person having eaten one tangerine will ask who else wants tangerines, otherwise he will eat everything. Surely, dear reader, you have repeatedly encountered not only such behavior, but others as well. Now you know what it is connected with - with different levels of confidence development.

I once witnessed such a "tangerine" incident. My acquaintance, along with me on the way to visit a creative lady with refined tastes, asked, and what, in fact, do artists eat from sweets? Having received the answer, I immediately bought a box of Comilfo sweets, a bit after thinking about the price of this sweet. When my friend came to visit, he opened the box and tasted one and ... well, in general, he ate all but one with great pleasure. The hostess, both in temperament and in bodily constitution, resembled a rabbit from the cartoon about Winnipuh, and a guest of Winnipuh himself both in body and character. Drawing from the cartoon At the same time, the guest is a confident businessman, the owner of shops, coffee, pizzerias, etc., and the hostess, an artist's mother and co-owner of two children, is a quiet, sweet person. Do you think which of them had more confidence? Quite right the businessman had more than 100 pounds of confidence and money)). The mistress's uncertainty led to the fact that in front of her eyes all her gift was eaten. And the guest's self-confidence means that he bought candy for the hostess and at the same time ruined her mood. And so, extremes are harmful in all manifestations, including in such a quality as confidence. Effectively possessing the confidence to be able to manage it - in certain situations, turn it on and off at will.

In different situations, the amount of confidence required to successfully resolve issues is different. With a team of builders, confidence is never enough if you showed uncertainty, then the builders will build what they want, not you. And when training a business partner, on the contrary - excessive confidence in you reduces the confidence of the partner, but it is important that his confidence increases. Therefore, in addition to increasing confidence, it is very important to be able to "make noise" when it is necessary, and when necessary - to take a "quiet" position.   

And so to summarize the uncertainty - this is the energy of confidence, just underdeveloped - say, reduced tenfold, and self-confidence - this confidence is overdeveloped, as in the case of uncertainty, this is the energy of confidence simply increased tenfold. Fortunately, both can be learned to lead to the golden mean. We will talk about this in the next chapters of our book *.


* Excerpt from the book "Leader and Confidence." Alexander Ilyinsky

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